The Web’s Most Searched Words And Phrases

I like to see what people that are not me are interested in. This is how I keep writing such cutting-edge, poignant articles. I honestly don’t believe what I wrote in the previous sentence. So, according to The New York Times, these are the most searched words and phrases. Drugs was #29! Yikes! Hoot!

1. microsoft»
2. apple»
3. bush»
4. colbert»
5. immigration»
6. china»
7. iraq»
8. global warming»
9. india»
10. health care»
11. linda stein»
12. iran»
13. imus»
14. gay»
15. none»
16. education»
17. obama»
18. hillary clinton»
19. sex»
20. oil»
21. marathon»
22. school shootings»
23. halloween»
24. merrill lynch»
25. science»
26. obituaries»
27. korea»
28. turkey»
29. drugs»
30. california fires»
31. college»
32. crossword»
33. mexico»
34. art in review»
35. citi»
36. cancer»
37. politics»
38. real estate»
39. democratic debate»
40. africa»
41. food»
42. water»
43. business»
44. maureen dowd»
45. war»
46. blackwater»
47. taxes»
48. japan»
49. world news»
50. women»

Fat People Shouldn’t Be Cops

How do they let this happen?

Thank you for the friendly emails.  I think that I agree with those who say that baseball should be more of a viscous sport.  So what if your arm hurts?  Fire the ball from a gun and save the arms.  Rev it up to 150 mph and give the batters tennis rackets.  What’s up with that word?  Raquet?  Rakkket?  Racquet? Fuck guys in suits…  I owe it to the female football reporters to say Double u Teee Efff.  Que The Fucqe?

How do you OWN a baseball team?  Imagine that.  If you happen to own a team, please write and we’ll do an interview on NE.  NE mean Naked Eric by the way, Chris.   I took the Metamucil and no it wasn’t funny.  Or funnie.  You’re a dique!

WOW the Red Sox just won the Al Pennant!  Quick, whip out your cell phone and unplug yourself from living the moment!  What is wrong with these people?  Snap a picture, send a text message, Crackberry a message to someone.  Doesn’t anyone fucking REMEMBER anything anymore?  By the way, take a walk.  Leave the phone at home.  Take a walk.  Remember the sky?  When was the last time you really looked at it an admired the clouds?  A storm?  I mean it.  I bet a lot of these future tumor-ridden cell phone addicts truly don’t gaze at the sky, a tree, fresh snow on a lawn.  I bet they have some important calls to make.  Geez, how did humans ever exist for so long without giving our elementary school children radioactive phones “just in case”.  Yeah, just in case my ass ends up your uncle.  Man, I’m telling you, fat people shouldn’t be cops.

I love toast and tits,

NE