Good News For 2010 – Eric Is Completing His First Novel!

Yummy.

He is our naked one. Eric America has, after being asked by some agencies and one publisher, concentrated creative efforts on a work of fiction. We’ll announce the title and do an excerpt when he has chosen a publisher and agent to give the ok. Now some scores from around the world:

2

12 – 5

Love – 15

7

0

It is a wonderful day when you are able to dance within the hours by letting your mind wander into all of the places it shouldn’t when working or student(ing?) I have been unfortunate for a long time, and I thank all those who have written and helped boost our rankings on Blog Catalog while identifying with some of the emotions laid out in “Hide Our Smiles”. As many know, I am a a musician and a poet. Fiction-writing seemed like a marathon run where I would have to keep a consistent thread during the whole process. I didn’t see it being as fun as writing songs or poetry. I was wrong. I am having a great time slowly building characters and working on moving them through a gauntlet of sins. Stick around for the updates. We will have a party in NYC and maybe other cities to launch the book!

-NakedE

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EXXXOTICA Hits Durty Jursey – And Yes, Eric and Cody Will Hit it Too…

exxxotica header

Newsletter Nags, your wish is about to come true.  The REVEAL club, designed by nakedEric fans and this really smart guy named Sammy (secretlysexy) is now just looking for some collaborators from the scene we all love to lust over.  They’re gracing our “garden” state with a throng of the most beautiful and sexy women ever assembled in one place.  I would hesitate telling your Islamic Extremist friends because you don’t have to die to find them all in one place, you just have to trek to Edison this weekend…

So, we have our funding in place to open up a VERY high end cabaret club which will have a stage for live music and cages, catwalks, etc. for the finest adult performers to blow your minds.  Our vision was to emulate the Body English club at the Hard Rock in Vegas.  Then combine it with Starland Ballroom in Sayreville and you have a rock venue with a classy group of sexy lassies and night after night full of sex, thongs, and rock’n roll (no drugs in public, they’re sold discreetly in places you know that are very far from our location because drugs are silly.  Well, percocet is useful sometimes.  If you have an injury, let me know…)

Anyway, we’re calling in press passes so we can cover this awesome event for you all and we plan to return with some incredible ideas for the buildout of REVEAL.  Maybe we’ll even end up owning some other companies.  Hey, when you’re buying in a down economy, you’re a rock star!  So, let’s rock Edison this weekend!  If you want to go.  GO!  All NakedEric fans can take part in the 3rd annual:

NAKED ERIC’S FLU SHOTS FOR STD AWARENESS

WE’LL GET YOU A FREE FLU SHOT IF YOU SHOW US VALID PROOF OF A FULL SCREENING.  GO GET TESTED KIDS, IT WILL MAKE THE WORLD A BETTER PLACE (OH AND IF YOU PLAN ON EARNING ACCESS TO THE SEX MILK OF A GODDESS, SHE WILL ASK YOU FOR THE TEST RESULTS – WE’RE LOOKING OUT FOR YOU ALL!)

We will update you when we hear from the Exxxotica crew.  We’ll announce our location and where the NakedEric / REVEAL afterparty will be this year.  Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeehaw!

-NE

Too Many Female Superheros (heroes?)

Chemically, the world has set up enough danger to mint a new bill.  If we were all heroes, there would have to be more than half women (lesbian shows,  duh!).  That brings me to my thingy:  Would we be able to make up that many female superhero names?  Help me as I try…

SuperWoman

WonderWoman

CatWoman

She-Ra

Murder Mermaid

Endless Menses

Bumpy Torso

Bitchinator

Hillary Clinton

Pink Devil

Scarbie

Rainbow Fright

Ninja Bitch

Perfumaniac

Bride of Damnation

Meat Hooker

June Cleaver!

Sister Sinister

Killy Ripa

Daughter Slaughter

Sister Dark Fang

Shiny Smells Nice Stabber

Hairdo Fire

Electric PMS

G-Spot A-Bomb

Kiss Me Where It Smells Funny ::clarification::

I have received concerned emails from readers.  Females, hopefully… who are aghast at the fact that there may be a part of nakedEric that smells “funny”. 

Here’s the rub (pun intended) – Does something funny (usually) make you smile?  Well, then say it this way as you listen to my hit single ‘Kiss Me Where it Smells Funny” – Think “Kiss Me Where it ‘makes you smile'”

By “funny” I didn’t mean “bad”.  Guys know what I mean.  Silly girls…

-NE

To NakedEric Readers: Leave Comments You Piggies!

I toil and trouble, I boil and bubble so that words come out and I press the buttons on this machine to create these sentences I leave for your swine-o-vision. In the last week, the amount of visits to this humble blog has TRIPLED! So now I feel like I’m being fondled by strangers. I hooked up with Tina Fey that day, but you are all strangers with no face. I want to get to know you and your PIN numbers. Don’t be foolhardy. How are we going to take over the world if we don’t even introduce ourselves? I will always write to puncture the poop bag of our pop culture and let the aroma dangle in your fangle. Someone has to do this dirty dirty job. I am glad to welcome you to this place of peace and yum yums. But please, leave a little comment or urine specimen behind for us to fondle… OKAY??!?

-NE

When I Said I’d Die For You, I Didn’t Mean You Could Kill Me…

When I was a kid. There are certain temporal tidbits that are designed to induce boredom and other unpleasantries amongst those who emote. I emote. The key is to keep the words close to the indicated line of fire by the super-duper title dangling like a male sexual organ over your whole scrot(yum) of an article. It truly does work like that.

Submissions to The Onion don’t work. They do if you’re keen. Are you keen? If so, I will reconsider…

I will read your blog and take off my final shred of clothing. My lizard tail anal prosthesis.

-naked eric