Kiss Me Where It Smells Funny ::clarification::

I have received concerned emails from readers.  Females, hopefully… who are aghast at the fact that there may be a part of nakedEric that smells “funny”. 

Here’s the rub (pun intended) – Does something funny (usually) make you smile?  Well, then say it this way as you listen to my hit single ‘Kiss Me Where it Smells Funny” – Think “Kiss Me Where it ‘makes you smile'”

By “funny” I didn’t mean “bad”.  Guys know what I mean.  Silly girls…

-NE

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My Chelle – Lyrics By nakedEric

My Chelle (cOkeBoOgErs)

Open up to the feel of my hand on the back of your arm
Finger in a place I can’t ever find when the bones bury me

No more sin if it feels like rain
I won’t live life and be in pain

Remember the passing moments, as they aren’t even there
Your beauty is the reason I can’t help but stare
When you go away I love the day
You come back to my arms and ask me if you can stay

No more sin, it makes no sense
I never asked to be like this
No more sin if it feels this good
You are my angel I guess we should

Roll these wicked bones of white
In a casket made for us tonight
My lips are numb and I search for your face
This Jersey town such a barren place

Now you’re gone to meet your self
I sit and high with no one else
Will tempt me ever be a drink I pair
With a sharp pang of you’re not even halfway there
There.

With a heart of blaque I swim in you
It’s a love you never knew.
White and high these evil eyes
Take animals to tame them from the
Cages of a heart I used to keep away from everyone else

You got me. I sit alone.
You’re always right, ‘cuz I’m always stoned.

Love me. I want only to be your happy key to the golden gable.
Choose me as your human
Make me a man in your embrace
Make me cry and feel ashamed
Make me be unable to not sing your name
I am broken and buried in a six-foot whole

I’ll be here until you come home on Wednesday to
Pick me up into your arms.
Lonely without your accidental divinity.

Thank You To J. Loren From HURT

If you are blind or related to Paris Hilton, you may be rich, but certainly have not the ability to recall that I am a big fan of HURT and their new album. I was poking around for some more morsels about the foursome when I learned about how trying the recording process was for the album “Vol. 2”. If you have not, please check out their extremely cool website. HURT Website – Click Here, Piggies!

This makes it all the more amazing of him to have reached out and offered some of his time to NakedEric for an interview for this blog! Whilst we work on the particulars, please stay tuned (no pun intended) and support the band. I mean, what other band would answer a “shot in the dark” invitation for an interview from a guy named NakedEric? HURT does this for the music, the catharsis of performance, and for the fans. J.Loren’s response is proof that this is more than just rockstar bulldoody.

American Idol (Idle Americans) has NOT killed ALL of the real music! HURT is fun! YAY!

-NEhurt.jpg

NakedEric Album Review – HURT “Vol. 2”

When you sit down, stand up, or hover and begin to ponder putting words together to express your feelings regarding an album that nips you in places that have no name, it often amounts to quite a daunting task. HURT is the most underrated and unknown great band out right now. That is a fact. Anyone who listens to their previous effort, cleverly named, “Vol. 1” immediately sees this omission of HURT in the gilded halls of super de duper bands of the day. Day! Vol. 2 is not only a “go hump yourself” to the Sophomore Jinx, it is one of the best albums I have heard in ten years (at least). Go to iTunes now and buy it. Go to Best Buy now and Best Buy it. It has a shiny white cover. Ok. Now, as you listen to Sunners Lost and Ten Ton Brick, recall what I am saying here. Come back and comment. Somewhere say, hey nakedE you were right! Why? Well, I am going to campaign actively for an interivew whith the gents from HURT. I want to find out how they pull this together so perfectly and what they are going to do when they inevitaby explode into superstsrdom. So, HURT, if you are reading – contact me so we can plaster this blog with HURTAmerica. I’ll even write the interview clothed in hopes that we can sheathe my pecker. Well, not we, I would never ask HURT to sheathe my penis. I would organize a charitsble event where they could play. I have done this before with a ….

OH MY. I am so tired I am falling asleep at the keyboard here. I have to continue this later, aaeaekkkk

Buy HURT “Vol. 2” and then surf over here. by then we can both go on nd on not capitalizing “By” and leaving the “a” out of “and”.

HURT rhymes with BURT.

HURT Vol.2  = MasterpieceHURT Vol.2  = Masterpiece

I Wrote A Poem For Britney Spears – Look!

Please note that I am completely serious and not apologizing for my screwed up opinion here.  This was inspired by Britney, I will not hide, but I will try sauerkraut later this evening.  Enjoy!

She’s So Dead

I told you so, she boldly
Lies before her fans now cold and moldy
Makeup artists making their last stand
A swan song for the ugly duckling
She didn’t ever care who she was fuckling
So now why should we care now that she’s dead and gone
I rue the day that these shallow blondes who are propped up
By fanfare and media throngs
Become the woman’s idea of an empowered femme
Little growing girlies way to small to flaunt their
Short and curlies, same to me as little common slutttt

The trash we love and the glitter we praise
Has a leader who’s so toxic she’ll soon autograph her grave
And when she’s dead she’ll beat this eager press that turned against her
And she’ll die into legend, like a soft bed of relief afloat in silken water
She’s so dead, can’t you see?  I think you see just fine.
You just choose to be simple, boring, and blind.

But I think we know we’ve hit a new low
With the new pop slut superstar glow
When we see that now children and their parents are hurt
By the influence of intoxicating, glittering dirt
And the desire of teenies to do just the same
As what their favorite stars sell them tattooed with their name.

From heretoforth let it be clear
She’s so dead just a walking veneer
Of all that will embarrass us and shame us
In retrospect, a future to be lived

Happily
Ever
After…

After she’s dead so maybe we can
Start over again..