EXXXOTICA Hits Durty Jursey – And Yes, Eric and Cody Will Hit it Too…

exxxotica header

Newsletter Nags, your wish is about to come true.  The REVEAL club, designed by nakedEric fans and this really smart guy named Sammy (secretlysexy) is now just looking for some collaborators from the scene we all love to lust over.  They’re gracing our “garden” state with a throng of the most beautiful and sexy women ever assembled in one place.  I would hesitate telling your Islamic Extremist friends because you don’t have to die to find them all in one place, you just have to trek to Edison this weekend…

So, we have our funding in place to open up a VERY high end cabaret club which will have a stage for live music and cages, catwalks, etc. for the finest adult performers to blow your minds.  Our vision was to emulate the Body English club at the Hard Rock in Vegas.  Then combine it with Starland Ballroom in Sayreville and you have a rock venue with a classy group of sexy lassies and night after night full of sex, thongs, and rock’n roll (no drugs in public, they’re sold discreetly in places you know that are very far from our location because drugs are silly.  Well, percocet is useful sometimes.  If you have an injury, let me know…)

Anyway, we’re calling in press passes so we can cover this awesome event for you all and we plan to return with some incredible ideas for the buildout of REVEAL.  Maybe we’ll even end up owning some other companies.  Hey, when you’re buying in a down economy, you’re a rock star!  So, let’s rock Edison this weekend!  If you want to go.  GO!  All NakedEric fans can take part in the 3rd annual:

NAKED ERIC’S FLU SHOTS FOR STD AWARENESS

WE’LL GET YOU A FREE FLU SHOT IF YOU SHOW US VALID PROOF OF A FULL SCREENING.  GO GET TESTED KIDS, IT WILL MAKE THE WORLD A BETTER PLACE (OH AND IF YOU PLAN ON EARNING ACCESS TO THE SEX MILK OF A GODDESS, SHE WILL ASK YOU FOR THE TEST RESULTS – WE’RE LOOKING OUT FOR YOU ALL!)

We will update you when we hear from the Exxxotica crew.  We’ll announce our location and where the NakedEric / REVEAL afterparty will be this year.  Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeehaw!

-NE

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Daddy, Please Get Better

Daddy, Please Get Better

for my father Glenn.  may God be patient in reuniting with his earthly angels.

 

Daddy, please get better

Only I can be sick.  I’m the one that’s supposed to fall

I am bedridden on school days with questionable infirmity

You are my hero and heroes don’t fall

I followed your size 10 ½ footprints

All the way to adulthood because I love to stay just behind you

As you worked each day harder and with more strength

Than any other man alive

That is why you are my hero and why I implore

Daddy, please get better

Now that you fell down

How can I make myself walk

Any more?

 

I slept not tonight as I lay so far away.

I would do anything at all to take your illness from you

And throw it on my back with this gruesome load

I’ve come to bear.

I would suffer a million times to have you back at home

Picking up the pieces after another financial mess I’ve made

Or sleeping soundly by the television you love so much

In the backyard grilling burgers for our humble cookouts

Then taking your kayak to the lake with Mom.

I am always proud to see you play

Basketball games each sunny day

Now the team is crying foul, the great inspirer needs a time out

But please make your rest short and come back soon

Daddy, please get better

Before your magic guitars

Fall out of tune.

 

You may not remember, but I’ll never forget

What you said to me if I fell down while at play

“Boo Boos hurt for a while

then they go away.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

Hello world!

I feel like declaring my love for bad girls.  I passionately love strippers, porn stars, and rockers.  I am aware that they only date drug-addled wife beaters, so I HAVE SOME WORK TO DO SINCE I AM NEITHER OF THESE.  Sorry for the caps.  I accidentally hit the caps lock.  I’ve been know to do that since I type with my penis.

Here’s a poem:

Up the stairs you’ll find a place to unbuckle these shoesies

and when you do you’ll see my dog.  His name is Buckley.  Your name is Chad!  Hang Chad Hang!

Never let them tell you than your brave endeavor to learn my secret was in vain.

I left you with strong goody(ie?) bag and the sun is mightly on the plain.

HAVe you no idea what this subtle yet growing noise is from the lair.

Geez, you reached this second landing, from this aforementioned parade of stairs.

It’s me and Beckie, the girl you paid for at the club last night.  I told her I loved her and she spent the night

arguing the benefits of vegetarianism and a platonic relationship between lumps of penis in her mouth.

We have no relationship so don’t scream HEY!

Hey is for horses, so gallop down those stairs and ramble on to your white jacket.  Super gay.

I want to take a nap.  My life is spicy, you are a lonely nice guy with no feet of his own

just a leash and a wheel below allowing the powers of C’Mon AMERICA! to

steel you where they may.

Just a note they told me so

they’d make me under the mask in sight, a living spot of reduction, a date, a lapse

the dog indecisive.  Beckie is hungry

your lamp is sweet.  My life is lonely so I pepper it with flesh.

Fleeting and mysetrious

like the path of the tide when it runs away to an opulent sea

never to be recombined in that manner

ever again.