Muhammad Ali once said, “Champions aren’t made in gyms. Champions are made from something they have deep inside them—a desire, a dream, a vision.” By extrapolating Ali’s maxim, one thing becomes abundantly clear: Rutgers Law will win the UVA Law Invitational Softball Tournament on April 9-11, 2010. It’s a FACT. I mean, look around you. Everyone still has desire (… to get find a job before the REPO man comes rap-tap-tapping at your chamber door); everyone still has a dream (… it’s called “Barrister’s Ball,” or, “Buddy Mixer with Cumberbunds”); everyone still has vision (… or can regain it through successful Lasik surgery, natch). Thus, despite our (read: MY) ill-fated workout regimens, we are the champions.
But it will be no bed of roses.
No pleasure cruise.
I know what some of you are asking yourselves (and yes, I hate this rhetoric device too):
1. “But Jorge, how do I get involved with the 2010 Intercontinental Co-Ed Softball Juggernaut that is Rutgers Law Softball?” Simple, Bro Montana. Fill out the attached registration form and bring a $30 non-refundable deposit to the UVA Softball Table in the atrium. Or you may choose to fill out the form at the table. We will start tabling regularly from next week through Thanksgiving break. You must register before Thanksgiving break if you want to attend. The total cost of the trip will be about $100 ($70 after deposit) for new players and $75 ($45 after deposit) for returning players. These prices are subject to change (read: D-to-the-rizzop) depending on our collective fundraising efforts. This cost includes: a 2 day stay at the wonderful Days Inn of Charlottesville, VA; a mesh Rutgers Law Jersey; and tournament registration*. We strongly encourage 1Ls to attend. Get your briefs done a few days early because you DO NOT want to miss this trip. I know that it’s a little pricey, but it’s easily the best event of the year.
2. “But George, I’m not that good at softball.” Listen, chief. This is a FUN-raiser. Besides, every team needs some Miguel Cabrera. Follow instructions above.
3. “No, but seriously Hore-hay, I don’t want to play softball.” Well, if you’ve read this far into the e-mail despite not wanting to play, I want to let you in on two secrets. (1) My name is Jorge. (2) I want you to break out that scarlet war paint and come anyway. Far too often we forget what the softball trip is about—making contact. And I’m talking about more than ground-rule doubles. In ten years, when we’re at the Bar (Association events) together we’re not going to look back and talk about how awesome that ALALS bake sale** was. No. We’re going to talk about how awesome it was when [REDACTED] totally [REDACTED] in [REDACTED]’s [REDACTED].
The gauntlet has been lain. The fields have been reserved. All that’s left is your participation.
For New Jersey. For Rutgers. For “the Gipper.” Let’s make it happen.
With love and squalor,
J.D. Candidate, 2010
Sent on behalf of the Rutgers Softball Team