Hot Megan Fox Video Posted Because My Penis Took Over…

http://www.esquire.com/the-side/video/megan-fox-video?bcpid=21913413001&bctid=21845810001

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We’re Back! And In Need Of Serious Website Help (obviously)…

Ahhh. I am writing to you reborn. Reborn after a nightmare of domain stuff as we tried to upgrade to a “real” website addy and, in the process, losing touch with the very readers we tried to amaze as we grew up to be hosted as a non-wordpress dotcom. Well we realized that we like being here just fine and that the world of techno-babble and web hosting is not meant for the, well, anybody really. So, with that said, are there any techno freaks that want to help us grow into an appropriate new home? We have money!

So, yes there have been posts. In fact, a LOT has been going on! So we will be sharing with you all of the incredible new music and contests, giveaways, and so on. We have Lo-Pro and Nonpoint on tap for interviews. We’ll post their goodies next.

We love being back! We also love Hiromi Oshima. Here is a naked picture of her. She is so hot that I have little pains near my face when I see her. Like, near my eyes. Yeah. Oh, that’s the infection. OK. Shhh….

-MEPS

Hiromi Oshima Makes Japan Look Like an Island

A-Rod and Mad-Rod – The New Power Couple?

Alex Rodriguez has been seen leaving Madonna’s posh domicile in NYC several times, at odd hours of the night. Both he and Madonna are reportedly ending their respective marriages. A-Rod’s wife is in Paris carousing with Lenny Kravitz. What the hell is going on here? Well, I know that I’m of passable intelligence and it seems pretty obvious to me. The “I didn’t inhale” type of PR BS spewing from all sides of this drama is worth ignoring. The facts are there and it’s pretty darn obvious: Mr. and Mrs. Rodriguez can’t help falling in love with has-been pop stars. End of story. Let’s move on because there’s much better gossip out there.

However, I would like to point out that a coupling of the fame, status, and net worth of A-Rod and Mad-Rod would be quite a sight to behold. Who would be the breadwinner in that super-duper couple? A-Rod makes about $30 mil per annum. Does Mad-Rod make more? I wonder.

More to come on this mildly interesting drama. Call it my guilty pleasure…

-NE

The NakedEric Book Store Is Now OPEN!!!

OMG! The NakedEric Book Store is OPEN!!! Click here and get stuff. I am happy. Are you happy? Please be happy. If not, do drugs. Or buy a kitten and throw it away when it gets old and fat. Mine got so old it stopped licking itself and grew dreadlocks. I’m not kitten’ – Ha Ha. Great pun there… Seriously. No, but click on this. Now.

The New NakedEric BookStore!

Massachusetts Teenage Pregnancy Pact Turns High School Semesters Into Trimesters

12 young ladies, high school students, had a neat idea to pass the time.  Well, pass ALL of their time actually.  They pinky swore (the High School version of a Notary) to all get babied up together so they can share the thrilling experience of raising humans as a team.  If logic and reason didn’t exist and there was no such thing as reality, this would be the greatest idea ever.  Funny, I remember when girls wanted to play house they bought Barbie dolls and were tickled pink with giddy teenage bliss.  Version 2.0 apparently supports live birth and, although the toys take longer to deliver (about 9 months) it is so worth the wait.  These Barbies act just like real babies.  This is a step in the right direction, it seems.  As the Jamie Lynn Spears Parenting Doctrines are now fully absorbed into our young female population, having real babies is a great way to gain media attention and truly make a difference in the world.  Our culture is on a steep slope downward into the pooper.  We vigilant NakedEric readers know this very well.  All we needed was a stark example.  An incident so extreme it serves to define and illuminate our place in the dig deeper into a cultural abyss.  Now we have it.  There’s not too much to say other than “What’s next?”

  Oh and how frightening that question has become, hasn’t it?  If 12 High School kids can so casually reproduce a la carte, we are in for some wild new tricks.  Awww, kids these days.  Makes me long for those days of walking my High School hallways trying to figure out how to have sex with something other than my stolen Playboys.  Socks, pillows, hands, they can be functional but never did I hear a girl actually discuss the conception of a live child as a consequence for the satisfaction of this throbbing pubescent desire.  The kids are quite daring these days.  I am truly amazed by this story.

  Does anyone else know more details about this “Pregnancy Pact”?  Please help us out here.  I’d love to examine this social phenomenon and celebrate it for what it truly is – A new low.  A stark example of the unraveling of childhood in America.  There is no more adolescence.  in 2008, High School isn’t measured in SEMESTERS any more.  Now it is clearly measured in TRIMESTERS.  Yikes.

-NE

Presidential Putz

As far as research goes, I am a middle-of-the-road half-breed with multi-faceted hyphens.  I like to collect my information carefully, like a man moves during sex to avoid premature climax.  In this case, I had a quickie and looked in the Enquirer.  I did this because I felt like part od the brethren.  You see I too wanted to inquire.  I wanted to see the most heinous thing printed by the fine folks at the big E.  Blessed Poop, did I find it.  Check this out…

(pic from Perez)

john edwards

  Could this be true?  If so, then this is what John Edwards done gone and did:

  John Edwards, super personal injury attorney turned politician caused some emotional injuries of his own.  While his wife battled bravely against an incurable cancer that is slowly killing her, he snuck around to hump a lady (let’s call her “mistress”, okay?)  Oh, and while this infidelity is blooming, Mr. Edwards was running for the office of Leader of the Free World.  I guess he was freely banging the mistress one day when a rogue sperm fertilized the lassie.  Now, the man who has betrayed his marriage vows, his dying wife, his family, the American people, the mistress, and didn’t even think to confess any of this or stop being a bad boy wants to be YOUR President!  I Trust I Can Rely On Your Vote, Mr. nakedEric Reader.  Oh, and by the way, a huge part of the crumbling platform I have stood on for about a decade or so is my deep Christian faith.  ::Insert snide comment here::

  God is just plain silly sometimes, isn’t he/she/it?

 

– NE