Paralysis by Urinalysis

doctor-with-urine-sample-via-shutterstock-615x345Paralysis by Urinalysis

If I fail a urine screen I am then discharged from treatment by my doctor.  This has become an all-too-common practice at many .. practices. Isn’t this ridiculous?  I mean, hypothetically, if I decided to go to an all night 70’s disco cocaine party and decided to partake (hypothetically) then I am in danger of losing the services of my orthopedic surgeon who is helping to mend my back after a near-paralyzing car accident?  Ridiculous.  A joint to help me sleep?  Say goodbye to my recovery from spinal injury.  Is there even a justification for this?  I will play devil’s advocate and try to defend the indefensible here.  Note:  Any position that isn’t mine is indefensible.

We can’t be providing opioid medications to patients who are themselves drug users.  There could be dangerous interactions and other irresponsible behavior that would cause them to harm themselves.  They would need a doctor.  They should be discharged from my (doctor) practice.

We have to test their urine frequently to be sure that we are not contributing to a patient’s drug problem or addiction issue for which they should be seeking professional help.  They would definitely need to see a doctor if they had an addiction problem.  These patients definitely should be discharged from my (doctor) practice.

By testing our patients’ urine, we can see who is a complicated patient so we can quickly discharge them from our practice, thus leaving us with the simple patients who quietly come and go, pay their bill on time, and allow us to pack in more patients (more money!)  Complicated patients take up too much time and cost us too much money (not to mention effort).  Money and effort should never be expended needlessly in our line of work.  Just tell them we can lose our license (an incredible irony when you consider that by KEEPING them as patients and TREATING their destructive tendencies by way of referrals or their addiction we would be acting MORE like doctors and thus be MORE worthy of our licenses) and keep having them make the walk of shame from bathroom to waiting room holding their leaking urine vials.  I became a doctor to get rich not to treat people who have unhealthy habits or dangerous behaviors.  Those people should go get their heads examined.  …by a doctor, I guess.  I’m confused.

Doing drugs is unhealthy although often a lot of fun.  If you choose to do something this stupid (awesome) then you should not be in danger of losing the services of a competent medical professional.  It should be noted, however, that if your doctor discharges you for failing a urinalysis, subjecting you to both withdrawal and the care that you deserve due to an injury or illness, the maybe your medical professional isn’t so competent after all…

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Good News For 2010 – Eric Is Completing His First Novel!

Yummy.

He is our naked one. Eric America has, after being asked by some agencies and one publisher, concentrated creative efforts on a work of fiction. We’ll announce the title and do an excerpt when he has chosen a publisher and agent to give the ok. Now some scores from around the world:

2

12 – 5

Love – 15

7

0

It is a wonderful day when you are able to dance within the hours by letting your mind wander into all of the places it shouldn’t when working or student(ing?) I have been unfortunate for a long time, and I thank all those who have written and helped boost our rankings on Blog Catalog while identifying with some of the emotions laid out in “Hide Our Smiles”. As many know, I am a a musician and a poet. Fiction-writing seemed like a marathon run where I would have to keep a consistent thread during the whole process. I didn’t see it being as fun as writing songs or poetry. I was wrong. I am having a great time slowly building characters and working on moving them through a gauntlet of sins. Stick around for the updates. We will have a party in NYC and maybe other cities to launch the book!

-NakedE

We’re Back! And In Need Of Serious Website Help (obviously)…

Ahhh. I am writing to you reborn. Reborn after a nightmare of domain stuff as we tried to upgrade to a “real” website addy and, in the process, losing touch with the very readers we tried to amaze as we grew up to be hosted as a non-wordpress dotcom. Well we realized that we like being here just fine and that the world of techno-babble and web hosting is not meant for the, well, anybody really. So, with that said, are there any techno freaks that want to help us grow into an appropriate new home? We have money!

So, yes there have been posts. In fact, a LOT has been going on! So we will be sharing with you all of the incredible new music and contests, giveaways, and so on. We have Lo-Pro and Nonpoint on tap for interviews. We’ll post their goodies next.

We love being back! We also love Hiromi Oshima. Here is a naked picture of her. She is so hot that I have little pains near my face when I see her. Like, near my eyes. Yeah. Oh, that’s the infection. OK. Shhh….

-MEPS

Hiromi Oshima Makes Japan Look Like an Island

NakedEric ROCK STAR EXCLUSIVE! LO-PRO IS BACK AND ONLY ON NAKEDERIC!

NAKEDERIC ROCKSTAR UPDATE!!!

LO-PRO EXCLUSIVE!

I don’t know how to say this in a way that fully delivers the massive news that broke yesterday at NakedEric.

Yes I do.  I just lied.  Sorry.

I’ll strip the usual (and incredibly sexy) NakedEric spice from the story and hit you with the skinny.  Also, I took too much Ritalin and can’t stop eating Starbusts so my hands seem to have ulterior motives.  If you don’t know what Ritalin is, then think of it like a display toilet at Sears.  It makes the place look more accommodating (a commode-ating, ha!)  but it is still the same bland, oversized shope selling crap we don’t need.  That made no sense.

LO-PRO MANAGEMENT HAS CONTACTED NAKEDERIC AND WILL BE ALLOWING EXCLUSIVE ACCESS TO THE BAND AND THEIR NEW MUSIC

WE’RE GOING TO HAVE GIVEAWAYS, REVIEWS, CONCERT INFO, BAND MESSAGES, VIDEOS, AND MORE.

TOTAL COVERAGE OF AARON LEWIS AND HIS PRODIGIOUS BAND LO-PRO

Here’s a link to two ridiculous songs by Lo-Pro.  Now, you all know what to do…  Tell us what you want!  What should we ask?  What kind of giveaways?  What do you think of the band?  Do you like Staind?  Are you nervous?  Do I make you horny?

SEND US YOUR QUESTIONS AND IDEAS THEN STAY TUNED BECAUSE WITHIN EVERY DAY WE WILL BE REVEALING MORE EXCLUSIVE CONTENT FROM LO-PRO AND OTHER HUGE BANDS.

For starters, here’s the official bio of the band:

About Lo-Pro

Lo-Pro’s journey began when former Ultraspank members Pete Murray and Neil Godfrey’s first demo caught the attention of Staind front man Aaron Lewis. Lewis promptly offered them a deal on his newly formed vanity label 413 Records, releasing their first album on Geffen.

Lo-Pro is: Pete Murray, Neil Godfrey, Tommy Stewart, Pete Ricci and Jerry Oliviera

Album: Letting Go EP

Letting Go PRODUCED BY: Angus Cooke and Lo-Pro

Executive Producer: Aaron Lewis

Here’s Some of Their Masterwork:

STAY TUNED AND WRITE TO US WITH YOUR INPUT!

Bad News: Sen. Feingold Admits What We’ve Suspected All Along: Obama’s “Public” Health Care Plan Meant to Ultimately Push Americans to Single-Payer Health Care « Frugal Café Blog Zone

Bad News: Sen. Feingold Admits What We’ve Suspected All Along: Obama’s “Public” Health Care Plan Meant to Ultimately Push Americans to Single-Payer Health Care « Frugal Café Blog Zone.

Goodbye Michael – A Poem by Cody Peters

Goodbye Michael
Thursday, June 25, 2009 @ 5:36 PM

He said his skin was of rhino
But inside his heart was of child
I keep crying for a loss I never saw coming.

You died from a broken heart.
The world you made shine had you killed down the line.
I cry tonight because I know how it feels.
Betrayal that you endure only by loving the world
More than your enemies could.
The irony stops your heart
And you die only to be discarded by
Those you tried to save.

You did more than Heal the World
You built it, you made it more beautiful
You made me love music and innocence
And seek the same in those I chose to love
I am so terribly sad I can’t even seem to stop feeling
The pain you must have had to endure.
It only makes me love you more.

I love you
I miss you

The sun has darkened and just like Billie Jean
You lit up wherever you went
Now you are not here
And we are left stranded
Grieving
In the dark.

by Cody Peters